009 Dialog Between Mary And Ahzar

Hello, thank you for visiting Huda TV. How may I help you?

Azhar

Hello.

Mary

Hi Mary.. warm welcome
Here we chat about Islam basics

Azhar

I need to know when Islam talks about fighting what is this ?
What does it mean ?
Why is killing ok ?

Mary

Sure. The only times Islam talks about fighting is in self defense and only after all the attempts at peace have been exhausted *AND* the enemy attacks you first

Azhar

Killing anyone innocent in Islam is completely forbidden
And even when we are fighting… Islam tell us if our enemy asks forgiveness then forgiven them

Azhar

but I read that Muhammad was fighting
And that he was acting like an army chief
And this confused me a lot 

Mary

True – prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) did fight and was indeed chief of the army. However he made sure that strict rules were followed and only commanded to fight when the points I made above were true

Azhar

Take an example…
When the Muslims won and entered Makkah after a long time, the enemies were forgiven – except some who had been traitors or on both sides

Azhar

I see
I am Christian
Orthodox Christian

Mary

Nice to chat with you Mary

Azhar

🙂 All my life I hated Muslims

Mary

Are you in Athens? I visited it many years ago.

Azhar

Mainly because I was told to

Mary

I can imagine many people do not like Muslims

Azhar

Yes in Athens .
How did you guess ?

Mary

Yes – there is a lot of resentment to Muslims. My system gives me an idea of your approximate location 🙂

Azhar

🙂 The issue is that I was always close to God
And always away from my church

Mary

I was in Athens in the days of those riots around 2009?

Azhar

Yes yes 🙂
I remember the time !

Mary

I hope things are better now !

Azhar

Hope you enjoyed your stay 

Mary

Yes – it was great

Azhar

This are a lot better . At least we do not burn our city 🙂

Mary

Hahaha.
Good.

Azhar

🙂

Mary

SO back to you…
As you were saying.

Azhar

I was away from my church.

Mary

How come you were away from the churche?

Azhar

I though that the priests were not that holy

Mary

OK – LOL I guess there are similar ones in any religion

Azhar

And everytime I needed them I didn’t think their consulting brought me close to God

Mary

I can understand that

Azhar

I also was not sure that Jesus was Son of God

Mary

Wow – really?

Azhar

Yes.
I thought that they made it such so that people would believe easier

Mary

As you know we love Jesus as a noble prophet of God but don’t believe he was God in human form or Son of God

Azhar

But this did not make my faith smaller

Mary

I got you

Azhar

So I still believed in God.
And God assists me in my life.

Mary

SO you continued to investigate and research?

Azhar

Even if I had difficult years he assisted me

Mary

It seems he guided you here – so that’s good 🙂

Azhar

The truth is that I don’t remember an era that I was without troubles .
So some time ago
I met a boy

Mary

SOmetimes we need challenges in life to bring us closer to God

Azhar

A Muslim boy 

Mary

ok

Azhar

And I started reading about Islam
He didn’t make me

Mary

I did it to assist him through a hardship he had.
And as he went more into the hardship I was reading more

Mary

Wow – that’s amazing

Azhar

If one day we were together I knew I would have to convert
So I was thinking about it as being Christian but raising my children as Muslims

Mary

Very interesting

Azhar

So in a way doing both

Mary

And still the same?

Azhar

And everything was going really bad with him
So his hardship made us away
Or me

Mary

ok

Azhar

I am not sure.
And I kept reading
Watching videos

Mary

please go on

Azhar

I though that through that I could find a way to ease his pain
So one day I saw a video and I heard the word partners

Mary

And in the beginning I said to myself
What are they saying ?
Why is this bad ?

Mary

ok…. by the way.. your English is great!

Azhar

thank you 🙂

Mary

And then I understood that in every and each pray I was making
I was praying to Jesus and not to God
And I have never realized that .
Never

Mary

Awesome you realised

Azhar

So I said I have to start saying God
Then I read that sex before marriage is not allowed .
So I said why ?

Mary

Yes true

Azhar

Everybody is doing it
This is a very old idea
That it is not allowed 

Mary

And one night during a pray
I realized that I have never felt secure with a man

Mary

That I was using sex to seduce
And to be loved .
Did not work by the way 🙂
Not for me …

Mary

ok

Azhar

So I started reading the Quran
And it was so much easier than I expected .
I could read it for hours and not understood that the time had passed

Mary

That’s great

Azhar

And I cried .
And sometimes I felt it was written for me .
And then I started research for my religion
Not really research

Mary

Questions were coming to my mind
Questions based on things I had read some time ago.
And I just know remembered to search for the answer

Mary

This is just amazing.. please continue

Azhar

And I found out that my religion is based on politics
And that people I worshiped
Chose the books inside my bible

Mary

I didn’t get that bit

Azhar

There are supposed to be more people that wrote about Jesus
As Thomas

Mary

oh yes..

Azhar

Or Maria Magdalene
And they chose not to put them in the Bible 

Mary

Gospel according to x, y or z person

Azhar

Yes 

Mary

So in the beginning I said I am Muslim
I always were just didn’t know it

Mary

I understand

Azhar

But know as I read
I get so tired, so confused
My mind is thinking why would God write a book and send it down?

Mary

If he is so powerful why does he care ?
Why do I feel so tired ?

Mary

It’s a valid point

Azhar

I feel that I am losing my faith .
Why would the God of love
Want to punish us?
How can he be so cruel ?

Mary

ok

Azhar

If a bad person was next to me I would try to change his mind
Not burn him forever.
So I think I am losing my faith

Mary

Sure – I know what you mean

Azhar

I say to myself that I will never make it to heaven of l this is true
So why bother ?

Mary

And I keep crying.
And I always think about that

Mary

OK. And you came here to discuss this?

Azhar

yes

Mary

Cool

Azhar

My religion seems to be fake.
I believed in a lie.
I don’t know what is true what is wrong

Mary

When you say ‘your religion’ which one are you referring to?

Azhar

christian

Mary

Ah ok

Azhar

I am doomed

Mary

Either I believe in a fake religion or God is a lie or I will never make it in a Christian society
All the roads
I don’t see the light …

Mary

OK. And what happened to the reading of the Qu’ran etc – do you still read it?

Azhar

And I am so tired.
Yes I still read it

Mary

I can not stop.
And I am tired

Mary

And what happens when you read it?

Azhar

I keep thinking
I can not stop reading it

Mary

Surely there is a sign there??

Azhar

What do you mean ?
Because I can not stop ?

Mary

I mean if something is bad – why would you keep reading? Obviously its something good – a good message inside… and that’s why you can’t stop;

Azhar

I am afraid when I am reading
Or ideas that God is not real
That this is a nice fairytale
And then

Mary

Or because you feel scared that you are doomed?

Azhar

I read some verses that “kill me”
Yes I am scared because nothing can save me .
And I cry.

Mary

OK.. in this case I have good news for you!

Azhar

Now I am crying

Mary

Please don’t. There is light and its close by.

Azhar

Allah is willing to forgive ALL sins even shirk if we repent sincerely and we do it while we are alive.
Shirk – taking of partners alongside God

Azhar

But I am thinking that he doesn’t exist

Mary

Ah I see

Azhar

And that I should better watch Tv
And I wake up tired 

Mary

OK.. and this relates back to why would God be cruel to send people to hell fire?

Azhar

Yes 

Mary

I got you now
OK. There is a way to look at this differently

Azhar

How ?

Mary

As you know God can do whatever he wants….
So he can put people in hell fire for a few mins, hours or days – even years and then take them out. Right?

Azhar

Yes 

Mary

SO this is a possibility. Just like a parent can tell a child off and maybe even slap them – but still loves them

Azhar

But the Quran says he doesn’t love unbelievers.
That he will set on Fire the ones who had partners

Mary

Right. Now imagine. If someone denies the messages and the guidance that God sends then God owes them no favour. Have you heard about Jehovah’s witnesses?

Azhar

No . Or maybe I have wi
and we call him differently

Mary

OK so it’s a Christian sect. And what they believe is there is no hell.
However the sinners do not get to see God

Azhar

Now in in the Qur’an – the Quran even itself says that it gives descriptions of hell and heaven that people might understand with their limited human imaginations

Azhar

So for example… hell might not have fire in it. It could be simply you are not able to see the face of God.
No -one knows right?

Azhar

But it says you will have fire
And fire will eat your skin
And then you will have new skin for the fire to burn

Mary

Doesn;t it also say rivers of milk and pleasant gardens etc?

Azhar

I will never be perfect.
Yes

Mary

Well we have those on earth already right?
Or we could have

Azhar

Yes 

Mary

So you see – as I think of it its like this:
Heaven/Paradise is a place we would want to stay in forever
Hell is a place we would not want to even be in for a second
And just think of it like this

Azhar

NOw imagine… if you gave your child a sweet one day.
And then the child loved it and he kept asking for it again and again but you didn;t give it to him. For that child – hell is not having a sweet right?

Azhar

Right

Mary

So the Qur’an says it gives allegories and analogies. So do not take it literally. I mean it says we will sit back on green cushions. We can do that here on earth!
My point is this…

Azhar

I understand

Mary

We are each of us responsible for what we do for things that are in our control. We will be judged on those. And each will be doing it for himself. So just do the best you can and let others worry about their own salvation.

Azhar

Of course we should help others by conveying the message and guidance of God but if they want to block their ears then God might give them a slap or two or even something worse. What do we care when we have done the best we can for ourselves and to help them too?

Azhar

Why do I have so many bad thoughts ?
Why isn’t God assisting me ?

Mary

It may well be that God forgives those people in the end- who are we to resist?

Azhar

Why do I feel so tired ?

Mary

Mary… I think I can help you here. I have two recommendations – techniques you can use to reduce or eliminate these thoughts:

Azhar

A: Use the following method in your daily life outside prayers and for when you get a sexual urge, evil or distracting bad thought: Keep a teaspoon in the left or right pocket. Whenever you catch yourself thinking a negative thought, move it over to the other pocket. Do this without exception. 

Azhar

Over time you will notice that you kick out the negative thought before it has a chance to be fully formulated in your mind. The first couple of days you will constantly have to move it back and forth between your pockets. After a month, sometimes less, it becomes a habit and you develop the reflex to dismiss negative thoughts, no sweat. If after a while they do creep back in, put the spoon back in your pocket and scoop them away.

Azhar

Over time you will notice that you kick out the negative thought before it has a chance to be fully formulated in your mind. The first couple of days you will constantly have to move it back and forth between your pockets. After a month, sometimes less, it becomes a habit and you develop the reflex to dismiss negative thoughts, no sweat. If after a while they do creep back in, put the spoon back in your pocket and scoop them away.

Azhar

B: This is like a virtual ‘spank’ to yourself when you get a sexual urge, put off prayer or anything else… put a rubber band around your wrist… whenever you get a lazy thought, pull the rubber band and release it… this will hurt your wrist a little. Over time you will stop doing the bad stuff because your brain associates bad stuff with the rubber band pain.

Azhar

The above tips very effective and known to work and can be used in other aspects of your life. They are cheap to implement but you will need to make an effort.
Try them. Nothing to lose!

Azhar

I will
I hope they will work

Mary

No harm in trying right? Cool. Now let’s discuss your beliefs a minute if that’s OK. No harm in trying right? Cool. Now let’s discuss your beliefs a minute if that’s OK.

Azhar

Ok

Mary

So you mentioned that you used to believe as muslims believe (except lately you had doubts) – is that correct?

Azhar

Yes . In a less conservative way of course

Mary

Right… OK

Azhar

Meaning I never thought that having sex is a bad thing
I thought that asking from God a good spouse is a sin 

Mary

OK.. but when you read the Qur’an and realised it might be bad – what did you think and do?
(sex outside marriage)

Azhar

In the beginning I though it was crazy .
Stupid

Mary

Yes – I remember you mentioned it above

Azhar

That it had to do with the fact this was written in another age

Mary

But after thinking you accepted it?

Azhar

You see my boyfriend is very conservative
And sometimes he had difficulties touching me .
So I was wondering why

Mary

Yes I can imagine

Azhar

Want I good enough ?
He was saying this is out of respect

Mary

I though it was because he didn’t have enough girlfriends
So no I did not accept it

Mary

But one day , I was praying
And while on my pray
I just understood
Why I did it . How it felt .why he didn’t want to do it

Mary

OK great. Here’s something interesting related to the same thing that often happens…

Azhar

I just understood

Mary

Ok… I get you. Often what happens is a muslim guy is dating a non muslim lady and then muslim lady starts getting interested and then decides that the guy is not really a good practicing muslim… she converts to islam for God and then ends up splitting from him!
(lady gets interest in Islam)

Azhar

🙂 I can imagine

Mary

But he is good
He thinks now that I am the devil

Mary

OK cool. LOL re devil

Azhar

Or something like that.
But he is good

Mary

So look here is something else to think about
Regardless of what you believe we are here on the earth right now.
Now we can try to think of reasons why we are here

Azhar

But looking at the sophistication of the universe and our bodies and DNA etc. its almost impossible to think we just live and then die and there is nothing more to life than that – correct?

Azhar

Yes. Correct

Mary

So what is our purpose then – why are we here. In order to answer that question, we can try to think of a few reasons e.g. to make life better or our children or our descendants or make them stronger and more adaptable e.g. evolution.

Azhar

But its still no use to us when we are dead. Plus the fact that there is so much injustice in the world there must be some sort of universal justice or compensation. Right?

Azhar

Right 

Mary

Good = now to examine the reason for our purpose we can invent our own reasons or go with those of an established religion. In order to find the right established religion we need to find out if the person who started it or told us about it is genuine.

Azhar

Sounds right

Mary

Also we need to look at the beliefs that those people brought. It should ideally be a good mix of spirituality and practicality.
Something you can apply in this world

Azhar

Most religions are purely spiritual (e.g. love your neighbour) without giving you practical guidance

Azhar

Yes I noticed Islam is not like that .
It gets to details.
It says even how to separate the fortune if somebody dies .
This is very surprising

Mary

Right… exactly. You always know where you stand – well in about 95% of cases.

Azhar

So what I want to ask you is this: If you believe in say 70%-80% of the Qur’an and what it says… what else comes close? And what percentage of that do you believe??

Azhar

It is not the Quran that I don’t believe .
I don’t like that Muhammad seems so important
He reminds me of how we have Jesus

Mary

OK. Cool. I can help you with this for sure. There is a great documentary on the life of Prophet Mohammed. It’s a neutral biography.

Azhar

Ok he was the last prophet . But he was a prophet , right ?

Mary

Its made by the BBC
Yes he was a prophet

Azhar

Which documentary ?

Mary

Here’s a link to the video on Youtube worth watching later – please save it….
BBC DOCUMENTARY ON PROPHET MOHAMMED

Azhar

Ok I will

Mary

Now once you see how he was and how he had nothing to gain materially from anyone coming to Islam you can appreciate the authenticity of his message – a good messengers should act and talk like a true messenger in order to be trusted right?

Azhar

Right .
But in Islam he is treated to be extremely important .
I don’t think that any of them

Mary

Of course because he was the final prophet. Here’s an example of his honesty…

Azhar

Any of the prophets was humble

Mary

All were. Prophet Mohammed told us Jesus Christ will come back before the end of time to help save the world and make it muslim!!

Azhar

Ok now that I remembered

Mary

Now imagine a fake prophet or person after recognition.. he would have said that he (Mohammed) will come back at the end of time

Azhar

How fair is that ?
Why Arabs have known the Quran
And Europeans haven’t ?
How fair is that ?

Mary

You mean why is Qur’an in Arabic?

Azhar

No It is an example
It is famous in Arabia for instance
But not in France

Mary

How fair is that for France ?
How can they know ?
How can I know ?
Just by luck 

Mary

It could have easily been in any other lanuage and to any other people… then you would have been asking me why French people know the Qur’an and not Arabs!!! 🙂

Azhar

Hehehehe

Mary

God only knows!

Azhar

I meant that God did not make it in equal terms

Mary

It had to be in at least one human language for sure

Azhar

Yes sure 

Mary

But nowadays we can translate it
So no problem

Azhar

But why Christians will go to hell ?
You know we have a saying
About religion in Christianity

Mary

It says
“Believe and do not investigate”

Mary

We believe people who followed the original message of Jesus which was to worship one and only one God will go to heaven

Azhar

They told me when I was very young and asked what is the difference between Holy spirit and God

Mary

But it says in the Quran Christians will go to hell

Mary

Actually it doesn’t say that exactly. It says those who do not believe in one and only one God and do not believe in the last day may go to hell

Azhar

There were people from the time of Jesus who knew nothing about prophet Mohammed that will go to heaven
Some call them Christians

Azhar

So the translation that I have is not good.
It puts the pagans in the same situation as Christians.
Ok ok I see

Mary

Yes – these are effectively atheists who do not believe in one and only one God

Azhar

We pray to Jesus

Mary

Yes – that is considered a big sin in Islam

Azhar

But you know this is how they thought us.
I never realized that before now.

Mary

Well we have been taught many things and beliefs we know are not true

Azhar

In Jesus and in the saints.
Does Islam has saints ?

Mary